Pride Month

Happy Pride Month!

Happy Pride Month!

To commemorate the Stonewall Riots, which occurred during the end of June 1969, June became known as Pride Month. For the past six years, President Obama has declared June as “Pride Month” in the US. In the past 45 years, Pride has become an institution of celebration for the homosexual, bisexual, queer, and transgendered community.

The celebrations center around a parade, one to showcase the many different subsets of homosexuals, bisexuals, queers, and transgendered people. It is meant to be a figurative “fuck you” to those who wish the LGBTQ community would simply disappear or remain quiet.

By being vocal and extrovert, we show society that we aren’t some special alien species that appears out of nowhere. Instead, we are the brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends of heterosexuals. We show we are human and we deserve to be treated as such.


For many people, the intensity of Pride Celebration can be off-putting. Some agree that Pride has become too commercial and has lost it’s meaning. Others believe Pride continues to separate us from society.

I believe Pride is necessary until all homosexual/bisexual/transgendered/queer peoples are treated equally in the world. The year is 2014, and we celebrated the Olympics in a country that outlaws homosexuality.

Ignorance runs rampant in many countries that believe there is a so-called ‘gay agenda.’ My only agenda is to wake up every morning, shower, clean house, work, and someday start a family in my home country. People believe we are trying to seduce children and ‘program’ them to be gay.

There continues to be a religious movement that prefers to torture openly gay people in hopes of ‘turning them straight’ than simply accept they are different. The Westboro Baptist Church protests at funerals of soldiers because they believe the government, for which the soldier protects, is being ruled over by this ‘gay agenda.’ The Church of Latter Day Saints used donor money from their followers to put an anti-gay initiative on the California ballot in 2008 known as Proposition 8, denying homosexuals the right to marry.


I understand the arguments of over-commercialism and the way Pride has moved away from its political roots. After all, it was considered a march until it became a parade. But should we do away with it because some are uncomfortable with the image it portrays of gays?

Here’s how I see it:

I believe gay pride is a lot like voting. If you’re not willing to go out and march, then you don’t have a right to fuss about not being ‘recognized.’ It isn’t our job to provide your side of the story. All we can do is show ours.

In the end, I think all gays should be proud of who they are, not because they’re gay, but because they’re human. We deserve to be treated equally and not bashed for being different.

Some people want to show their pride by being half-naked, roaming down the street. Others want to show their pride by holding their boyfriend’s hand at a restaurant. However you do it, do it knowing you deserve to be treated as a human being and that’s all the matters.


You Also Have Pizza

It should be noted: SPOILERS AHEAD!

I’m watching the 2nd season of “Orange is the New Black”.


It’s one of those dramas that really has it all: great acting, wonderful writing, awesome settings, and so forth. Netflix definitely has a gem on their hands (including House of Cards).

But as I was watching episodes 5 and 6 of the new season, I begun to realize why I love this show so much. Two years ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. He was a good man with a lot of good qualities, but I had a lot of shit going on in my life. Sure, he wasn’t perfect, but a lot of it had to do with me. I just didn’t know what the fuck I wanted.

Hell, I still don’t know what I want. I’m hoping to get into some therapy and figure that shit out. Back then, however, it made things really hard between the two of us.

I see the same dynamic happening between Piper and Larry (the main character and her fiance’).

Actors Taylor Schilling and Jason Biggs

Actors Taylor Schilling and Jason Biggs

There’s a scene in Episode 5 “Low Self-Esteem City” where Piper calls Larry to reconnect after a long time of no-talking. He’s outside the prison walls walking home from hanging out with a friend, and she’s stuck inside only with news of what’s going on inside. Her world is a world he’ll never know or understand, which was pretty much made clear in season 1.

This season though, this phone call, really it brought it home for me.

I called my ex a few weeks ago because, no matter what anyone says, he can be a good influence on my life. We just have to be honest with one another about what we want out of this.

Anyway, back to the phone call, I had to tell him about my life: the way it seems like I cannot get a handle on things; the gambling addiction that both my parents and I suffer from while living with one another; my inability to keep a job; and the things about my family that screams “dysfunctional.”

He had great things to tell me about him moving on: fixing his kitchen; meeting new people; piecing his life together after the break up. He’s got good people watching out for him, even though they have their own issues from time to time. But it’s obvious they’re there for him when he truly need them.

I feel like he’s Larry, out in the world living a life, while I’m stuck in a prison where everyone watches out for themselves, trying to wait for the end (“Prison ends,” Piper tells Brook; I can only hope the same goes for my situation).

Note: I do not mean to sound inconsiderate of my friends and family. I especially appreciate my best friend and niece being there for me lately. But my living situation, and family, are not the typical idea of dysfunctional. We’re special. We make the Sopranos look normal.


In episode 6 “You Also Have Pizza,” Larry comes to visit Piper in prison. She tries to reconnect with him by the same, usual way they talked to one another, but Larry wasn’t having it. After he asked her to do something that would jeopardize her stay, she tells him he “cannot be the moon,” meaning he shouldn’t use her situation to put him in the spotlight (as he had in season 1).

Larry becomes quite upset at this and he leaves. Before he does, however, he compares her to the sun and that at least people can walk on the moon. “People burn before they can even reach the sun,” he says as he storms off.

I am a lot like Piper. I try to connect with people, be close with them, make something out of my life, but I somehow self-sabotage my happiness. I am the sun, but everything burns before I can reach it.

My ex doesn’t want to use me to put him in the spotlight, but I feel like I have burdened him with a pain to bear. It’s complicated without getting into his life and I prefer not going there for his sake. Yet I burned him, badly.

Piper_animationI wish I had a way to close this post. I think I mostly wrote it so I could put it down somewhere instead of letting it stew in my mind.

I’m probably being self-conceited as usual, which only makes the sun comparison worse (as if I think I’m the center of the universe… err, galaxy). But it doesn’t make it less disconcerting for me. I’m scared this is who I am: a ruiner of lives, my own and anyone else who gets in my way.

Or do I even matter?

“In the macro sense, no.

“You’re the one cheerio in the bulk box of ‘Life,’ but you fuckin’ tickle me, so I think [you]… matter.”

– Nicky Nichols (played by Natasha Lyonne)

Sh*t Happens: My Story About Anal

WARNING: I will be explicitly talking about anal sex. And poop. You’ve been warned!

If you didn’t know, I’m gay.

You Don't Say Meme

As a gay man, I’m what we call a ‘bottom’. This means I like ‘tops’ to insert their penis into my bum. But poop comes out of my bum. And in case you’re not following the path of breadcrumbs I’m dropping, I have to be clean when said top inserts himself inside me or he gets poop on his dick.

Sounds yummy, doesn’t it?

No, no it doesn’t.

So, what I do is clean myself before said top can… well… top me. I own a reusable enema to accomplish this purpose.

bish whet

Well, I had to tell you that bit of information so I can tell you this story.

Once upon a time…

I know, it’s not a fairy tale. But it’s a fairy’s tale… about a fairy’s tail.


OK. Seriously, one night I woke up at 3:30AM to use the restroom. When I came back to bed, I found a text message waiting for me from one of my FWB (Friends With Benefits).

"Wanna take it up the butt?"

“Wanna take it up the butt?”

At first, I wasn’t feeling it. It was pre-dawn; I was going to work in a few hours; plus, I wasn’t clean.

Thirty minutes later, when I couldn’t sleep, I went back to my phone:

Can we still make this happen?

After ten minutes, we had a plan: I was going to prep myself, shower, get dressed, and head over for a pre-work sideways shuffle.

Unfortunately, my parents heard me get up and take a shower (yes, I live with my mom and dad). At the time, either my mother or myself gave my father a ride to work. Since my work was closest to his, I was designated to take him, even though I tried to explain I had to be there SUPER early.

It didn’t matter. Per my mother’s orders, of which we must obey, I was to take my dad to work.

y u no meme

I texted the FWB on my way to my dad’s work, telling him we had to reschedule. He told me that he’d leave his door unlocked in case I changed my mind. LIKE I HAD A CHOICE!

I dropped my dad off work and decided to head to my own place of employment. Seconds before I take a turn to get onto the highway needed to get to work, I decide to go the opposite way towards my FWB’s place.

Twenty minutes later, I get there and enter quietly. He’s asleep in his bed naked. I surprise him… with my mouth. And things developed from there.

Now, as I was continuing work with my mouth, I told him it had been awhile since I last bottomed, so I would need some help opening up. Basically, he would have to finger-fuck me and ease open my asshole.

LOOK. I am trying to make this as painless as possible for you. BUT this is a post about anal sex. SO calm thine tits.

He pulled out some lube and poured some into his hand. Next thing I know, what first started out as a dry finger barely going in, turned into a practical fist job of slippery proportions.



Despite this faux pas, we decided I should be on top.

Now, this will confuse some people. I am a bottom and he’s a top, but he wants me to be on top. Meaning he still inserted his penis into my bum, but I rode him cowboy style.


Pretty soon I got a good groove going. We’re doing our thing, enjoying our personal bed carnival.

But then he stopped. And I stopped. We both looked at each other. I’m confused. He’s a bit concerned.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“I felt something on my balls.”

“My ass?”

“Get up.”

I got off. We turned to find a small puddle of enema water and lube sitting on his bed. Apparently, I queefed remnants of these two liquids out, down his shaft, over his nuts, and onto his bed.

“You shit on my bed.”

bish whet 2

“Um, no, you fucked the shit out of me. Literally.”

We argued a bit before heading into the shower to clean off, and apparently finish.

So that’s my story about anal. Be forewarned. Don’t use too much lube and make sure you’ve emptied your bowels properly.